Love

Love

Love, if I’m going to start talking about love, I can only do so from my point of view… But if i talk about love from my point of view, you might say ‘but that isn’t love… THIS is what love is’ and the next person might say ‘No THIS is what love is…’. Its the same boundless warm hearted feeling and yet each and every persons perception of what love it, how it should feel and what it should look like differs. Have you ever been in a relationship with a person who says they love you, but it doesn’t look or feel the way you thought it would? Like that birthday present you once dropped hints for, that when you finally unwrapped it, wasn’t quite right, wrong colour, wrong brand, wrong present altogether? Love can be like this, and if we limit our perception of it, so that only something that fits our ideal and our perceptions, then we may in fact miss out on the gift of love altogether. Author Gary Chapman highlighted that people express love through five different languages; • Words of Affirmation – spoken praise & appreciation • Acts of Service – helping a loved one • Gift Giving – showing love through giving gifts small and large • Quality time – giving undivided attention • Physical Touch – from a small touch here and there, to holding hands, kissing and of course sexual intimacy Perhaps already you can recognise which of these love languages you choose to communicate or receive. Or perhaps even you are unsure of how you enjoy giving and...
The Art of Listening

The Art of Listening

It’s a common scenario… you bump into, or receive a call from a good friend, only to have them bombard you with a high speed stream of words that leaves your head spinning. You haven’t been able to understand what they are trying to tell you, either because they are talking too fast for you to decipher the actual words or too fast for you to comprehend the message they are trying to get across. And your usual response ‘ok slooowww down I didn’t understand a word you are saying’. In an increasingly fast-paced world full of increasingly fast-paced yoga, where bodies are moved from pose to pose in an almost dizzying blur, I find it increasingly necessary to slow yoga practise down, to move through transitions mindfully and hold poses meaningfully. Why? For exactly the same reason we ask our friend to slow down as they share their exciting news. So that we can actually understand what is being said in our body as we practise yoga. Because amongst all the things our yoga practice can be for us, it is always an opportunity for us to practise the art of listening. The art of listening to your body, or listening to your emotions, or listening to your breath. And listening is an art, a sometimes much neglected skill, that many people think they possess but actually have never really mastered the art of. Take for example, your friend, as mentioned above, when they finally slowed down for you to be able to listen to their story. How would you listen? As they spoke would you be formulating...
Five Ways to Deal with Curveballs

Five Ways to Deal with Curveballs

Sometimes it takes a curveball, a life tsunami to shake you up – divorce, illness, redundancy or bankruptcy. It creates trauma in your life and forces change that is difficult to embrace. How can you welcome something that is the cause of so much pain for yourself and your loved ones? Does life really have to be a rollercoaster of fleeting happiness, sadness and challenges where you end up feeling numb to it all? And you box on as best you can and brace for the next storm, the next curveball that sideswipes you. After all what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger right? What if you could train yourself to see each trial as an opportunity? You prepare and are even willing to create change in your life, so that drama appears not as a curveball at all, but as an opportunity to learn and expand. And better still, it causes minimal damage because you see it coming? Hell! You can sidestep it and just take all the good stuff life has to offer? Well here are five ways to change your perception and dodge the curveballs! 1. Do Not Judge Yourself You are our own worst critic. Really practice kind words without framing it in pre-conceived beliefs about what, who and where you should be in life. You are where you are for a reason and your life purpose is only to live each moment with purpose. An event that rocks your world is an opportunity to find deeper meaning in your life – that’s why it’s called a life lesson! It is a gift of fresh...
What To Do When You Feel Like Giving Up On The Task

What To Do When You Feel Like Giving Up On The Task

Sometimes it is really hard to stay optimistic. When you start to feel that your plan isn’t going the way you had hoped for. When you are not getting the results you imagined. There are days when it seems like everything is against you. It would be easy to give up on what you are trying to achieve at this point. I am going through this right now myself and know first hand how difficult it can be to stay focused on what you want to achieve. I also know that giving up right now, isn’t the answer. So what can you do when you are in this position.   SUPPORT – Surround yourself with people who will encourage you and support you in your mission; when your energies are low. STAY STRONG – Take comfort in knowing that this moment will pass and that unseen opportunities are still possible. REMIND YOURSELF – Why did you choose to do what you are doing? Is this important to you? If you are doing this for good reason and it is of importance; then remind yourself of this. IMAGINE – Create the image in your mind of what your success would look like. Acknowledge how it feels within you and sit with these feeling for a few moments. NO FAILURE – There is no such thing as failure, when attempting to achieve something. Things may not always work out exactly as you had hoped for but what you have learned along the way is...
The Most Powerful Transformational Question Ever

The Most Powerful Transformational Question Ever

Again and again it is proven that mental pain comes only when we resist change. I mean really think about it. The only problem that exists when a lover decides to leave us is our resistance to the change. We could simply say, “Okay,” and get on with our lives. Equally, should we find ourselves requiring more money? We might roll up our sleeves and get creative. These are the actions of acceptance. So why do we choose to resist and experience pain? Some might say it’s due to pride or ego, though I think it’s simpler than that. I’ve heard it said, that the only certainties in life are death and taxes. Though tax laws change all the time. So I guess death is the only certainty in life. Yet so many people fear change like it was death. You don’t have to be a Mensan to deduce that in order to prosper, we have no choice but to learn to embrace change or at our peril, become redundant. After I learned how to become a life coach, I went on to study and master Neuro Linguistic Programming. It was then that I came upon a transformational law (in NLP it’s called a ‘Presuppositions’) that not only opened up my thinking, it immediately had me accepting the idea of embracing change. The transformational law was called, ‘The Law of Requisite Variety.’ Translated, it means: “The person or the system with the most flexibility controls the system.” In that moment, I realised the value of flexibility and made a new decision. I abandoned one of my arrogant rules: “It’s...
Buddha Quotes On Wisdom

Buddha Quotes On Wisdom

Even death is not to be feared by one who has lived wisely. A man is not called wise because he talks and talks again; but if he is peaceful, loving and fearless. You only lose what you cling to. Pain is certain, suffering is optional. As you walk and eat and travel, be where you are. Otherwise you will miss most of your life. The past is already gone, the future is not yet here. There’s only one moment for you to live. Even as a solid rock is unshaken by the wind, so are the wise unshaken by praise or blame. Wear your ego like a loose fitting garment. The trouble is, you think you have time. A dog is not considered a good dog because he is a good barker. A man is not considered a good man because he is a good talker. People with opinions just go around bothering one another. Remembering a wrong is like carrying a burden on the mind. There isn’t enough darkness in all the world to snuff out the light of one little candle. One moment can change a day, one day can change a life and one life can change the world. Imagine that every person in the world is enlightened but you. They are all your teachers, each doing just the right things to help you. Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care for people will hear them and be influenced by them for good or ill. True love is born from understanding. Hatred does not cease through hatred at any time. Hatred ceases through...
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